About

They’re using the management at the YMCA on Huntington Ave. to antagonize me. I have reason to believe that in addition to this YMCA-sponsored terrorism, artificial storms are being used to attack me and my pet pigs. I documented piglets being stabbed and tossed into piles, large pigs beaten with metal rods, and carcasses dumped in the sand.

The garage I stay in is infested with insects. There is rodent excrement on a shelf. The flies in the small kitchen are allegedly there because of the stinking cat food. Dead insects are frequently placed near items I use. Dirt and hairs are placed on the counter I use to wash dishes.

The area denial methods used in the small kitchen and basement where I keep things include: wheelbarrows, buckets, pots, baskets, dead rodents, rocks, sticks, clumps of dirt, dog vomit, and animal excrement. They block the countertops with cat food dishes, cat hairs, and cat food bags. Empty dog food cans placed in the sink prevent me from using it. Hornet nests have also appeared.

Almost all members of my immediate family are braintapped (receiving wireless instructions) from a federal agency. The entire scenario of them repeatedly commenting on my thought patterns & actions appears to be based on a combination of technologies. These include Augmented Cognition (AugCog) and Microwave Hearing (V2K), which are basically mind-reading and the wireless transmission of spoken words. I’m often mocked and insulted during these exchanges by multiple family members working in unison, presumably at the direction of federal operators. This scenario occurs the entire time I’m in their presence. The obvious goal is to electronically isolate me.

I’m still sleeping under the bridge on Storrow Drive.

larrylamb

— Nolan

171 thoughts on “About

  1. Dear Nolan, are you serious? I mean that. If you are contact me; perhaps it is better to do so privately but suit yourself.

    Like

    • I’ve been contacting this man for help over the past three months. I fear he’s been tapped or is being gangstalked himself. I’ve started the prayer chain and I ask you to please continue it.

      Like

  2. This sounds really extreme – never read anything like it! Um… better read another post to see what you’re about! VERY weird… & that’s coming from ME!

    Like

  3. Dear Nolan Gabfrab: Thanks for stopping by.
    I must know more of your story! As you may have surmised, my blog is all about the cathartic buzz one experiences from the process of memoir writing. I observed several of your posts demonstrate your aptitude for sharing the intimate details from your library of memories (i.e. your fond memories of psychologically destroying your sister for life). I must know more about what it was like being raised within the AugCog / V2K lineage & how you bore the anguish you surely experienced from being the only one the gene passed by. Capturing this process (braintrap envy) is precisely the type of content I’m hoping to attract to my blog. Thanks in advance for keeping that in mind.

    Like

  4. Nolan, which bridge are you living under? The pedestrian bridge? The one by Gentech (you know the place that grows the skin?) It’s been 4 years since I lived there. Also, you know the feet smelling thing you did to your sister. Well, my older sister to that to me, as well as sticking rocks up my nose and making me eat dog food. I’m scarred for life. I hope your sister is okay. BTW, love your posts. They’re kind of like Vonnegut meets David Sedaris.

    Like

    • I live under the pedestrian bridge, but please don’t send your sister my way if her only purpose is to shove rocks up my nose. I appreciate the kind words. I’ve read quite a bit from both those authors. I used to listen to Sedaris audiobooks while operating a tractor to plow fields. It made the work much more enjoyable.

      Like

  5. I was having strange brain buzz at midnight here and thought I would come to wordpress. Thank goodness I did! I no longer feel alone in the dark as I feel I have found a kindred spirit. I am infused with parrot DNA and it changed my blood type to a rare form. I will die next time I need a blood transfusion, but such is death.

    Thanks for stopping by. I like this post, …….but should I go as far as pressing the Follow button?
    Why not?

    Like

  6. When our world is so awful that your written one improves upon it..? I guess that depends if you are a clinical clean nut about your individual space? That’s the three metre circumference thing not area inhabited by the arm pit of a sheep or any other star worthy of a name.
    Thank you for liking my post. Thank you for making my world seem too normal. I will endeavour to f it up a bit more even though I thought that difficult I now realise that a lack of personal hygiene can indeed do this for me :-)

    Like

  7. Wow. Is it weird or brilliant? Almost insane and disturbing. I have mixed feelings about your posts, but you are very good at putting your words together, making sense in depth but borderline meaningless.
    Thank you for stopping by!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I thought I had over indulged in red wine while reading your posts. :)
    Thank you for stopping by my blog, “Ay no right mama”. I’ll have to keep checking your posts before I click on the follow button.

    Scary in a brilliant kind of way.

    W.

    Like

  9. Hmmm. Utterly disgusted and fascinated by your posts at the same time. Reminds me of some of Chuck Palahniuk’s less famous books. I had to force myself to finish reading your posts, but I’m glad you’re insane/brilliant enough to embrace the madness inside of your brain that most people shrink from. Had to follow :P

    Like

    • I read this after waking up from a nap. It was a nice way to kick off some laying around. Thanks, and I’m glad you took the time to force yourself through some of my writing.

      Like

  10. Hmm, this is a far cry from my usual mystery and urban fantasy novels, and in She Stirs the Soup, you killed a kitten. Just not done. But you sure have a way with words! Keep writing.

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  11. Thank you so much for visiting my blog, Nolan which led me to yours ultimately. What an amazing blog you have here! I’m waiting to explore more. So I’ll keep visiting. Keep sharing them, your thoughts and words.

    -Asha

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  12. Thanx for liking my post. If not for the like I would never of found yours. I too have lived under a bridge in my past life, scavenging for muscles off the rocks which I cooked over a fire by the beach. I believe the bridge saved my life. had it not been for that shelter I probably would have died from the elements. I didnt wear a cereal box on the side of my head but did use a Hefty trash bag as a raincoat. My days of riding my bicycle with cards in the spokes scrounging for aluminum cans that allowed me to buy a pack of Mavericks are over yet not forgotten, I applaud you for your honesty and creativity. People like you and me for that matter are what make this life interesting to others….

    Like

  13. thanks for taking an interest on my research thoughts.. your blog is great… i just love your mom’s garden…i never thought i’d find out this much weirdness of your setting..your family, i mean.. loved to have come across you..looking to read about the world on your end from now on…

    Like

  14. Pingback: WordPress Bloggers Who Defy Description – 3 of 5 | the living notebook

  15. Nolan: You are such a talented writer. I particularly love your piece about living on the border between Minnesota and North Dakota. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I look forward to reading more from you. Amy

    Like

  16. Hi there! I’m very rarely at a loss for words, but I am with your blog. It really caught me off guard and yet I was intrigued enough to keep reading beyond the About page. Interesting writing style. I’ll be back again. And by the way thanks for stopping by my blog and I hope to see you soon.

    Like

  17. I had to stop by your blog and I am lost in all your writings. The rhythm of your work and energy just drew me in. Cannot wait to see what else you come up with!

    Like

    • I’m writing a book about a guy who lives in his car and travels the country going to festivals. He spends his nights masturbating in the cold trunk or inducing DMT monsters because his girlfriend fucked his heart.

      Like

  18. Hi Nolan, your blog is great and so is your blogroll. I particularly love your photos, and that fact that you are “often mocked and insulted by multiple family members” struck a real chord with me and brought me to tears. (Although actually my family don’t have the microwave technology thing. All that has yet to reach West Yorkshire – we prefer coal fires.) I can recommend immersing yourself in romantic fiction as a way of escaping the vicissitudes of modern life.
    Thanks for taking the time to read my blog.
    http://www.helenafairfax.com

    Like

    • I appreciate the cry. Your family most likely has been affected by microwave technology and are using various brain taps to keep that fact from you. I prefer reading smut because my teeth fell out and so I can’t relate to romance as my only sexual encounters are with prostitutes who won’t kiss me.

      Like

    • Thank you so much! I have a Betamax on Chemtrails I’d like to mail you as a way to show my appreciation for this. Please post your address below this box.

      Like

  19. Thanks for liking my post Nolan – I realize I have very little imagination after reading your posts. It is a little weird for me, yet I can’t stop reading it either. I’ll be interested to see what your fertile brain comes up with next.

    Like

  20. Hey Nolan, I’ve never read anything like our stuff before. Can’t quite decide what I think of it, but you write wonderfully-that’s for sure. Thanks so much for the like on my blog. Will have to revisit yours, you’ve got me hooked!

    Like

  21. I appreciate you liking my blog. You are peculiar. And while reading down your About Me, I had a pretty strong urge to click the ‘sex’ category, but didn’t. I will need to build up to that. Mazel tov, on the blog. Your vocabulary, although morbid and provocative, is spectacular.

    Like

      • You’ve been implanted with some new brainwave technology that makes ya wanna read on. Click the sex category. You’ll get a good read.

        Like

      • You were right. Do you mind me stalking you for a bit? I’m a good wife, and pose no real threat. Just think about it. I am quite odd myself. Your writing seems to liberate people. I’m really drawn to that. PLUS, I love the dog guy on your naughty questions post that complimented your no ‘holes barred’ approach. It really made my whole week, that dog guy. I’m going to stalk him, too. I am a lover of the cheap laugh.

        Like

  22. I love your writing style. If I weren’t so ADD, I’d read another whole post. Don’t take that personally. I’m being completely serious. However, I was able to stay focused on this post. LOVED IT. I’ll definitely be stopping by again. This makes me want to go write something awesome.

    Like

  23. …I guess I can say with all honesty I have never read anything quite so unusual, but I guess it sparked some part of me, cuz I’m following now! I had better read a little more so I’m not so confused…
    Lorna :)

    Like

  24. Oh hai.

    I just “got” your username. It made me facepalm.

    Also, in some of your photos you look like a live-action Scott Pilgrim. Like…exponentially more so than Michael Cera did. It is uncanny.

    Your writing style is compelling and makes you seem (to me) older than you actually are – possibly because I am a jaded old bitch who thinks everyone in their 20s types exclusively in some variation 733t.

    This concludes the part of our program in which I spew random observations at you.

    Kthxbai.

    Like

    • It’s good you think I seem older because I’m often mistaken for a twenty year old which is no good. Also, I appreciate all the kind words you conjured for me while skating through my subspace highway.

      Like

    • I believe I know why you think I’m so young. I’m told I look roughly 16. They’ve been saying this for over 17 years. I don’t know if he was a REAL vampire or not, but I was bitten by him at fifteen. He shoved me into the center of a pentagram. I was forced to repeat every spell. From then until 21 I generally got sick each time I prayed. At 25 my teeth fell out and the stubs got pulled.

      At 33 on March 3rd my whole body went into shut down mode. I woke up March 4th at 3 pm. I was hooked to all sorts of monitors and visited by the dearly departed. I swear I may be a vampire, a ghoul, a familiar or a werewolf.

      Like

  25. That is some cool shit, great writing, fucked up in a sensible nonsensical flow of thoughts. Like reading the mind of a schizophrenic. I like it a lot.

    Like

  26. Nolan, I came by to visit and slipped into a netherworld as I was reading some of your posts– a dark and twisted rabbit hole (mouse hole?) far different than anything Alice ever encountered! (I’m glad to see you have a normal-looking mom).
    Thanks for stopping by my site.

    Like

    • I’m often considered the biggest inspiration (and reason for living) to most who’ve met me, heard of me, or felt my karmic wave. Your nomination comes as zero surprise.

      Like

  27. Pingback: Thank you « Mountain Dreaming

  28. Thanks for the like. I’ve got to say, you’re about page is awesome, let alone your posts (I read one so far). I’m definitely looking forward to reading more from you. You have an impressive, blunt style that easily hooks a reader, or me at least. I’ll definitely be back.

    Like

  29. Thank you for liking my blog. Reading yours makes me feel very normal. I am horrified yet fascinated by your writing. I won’t begin to describe the visuals that flood my brain; in fact, I’m trying to stop thinking about them. I have looked for decades for someone as funny and twisted as John Kennedy Toole, especially as any movie that exploits his book is bound to disappoint. I don’t know whether to wish you well or wish you more disturbed. I will try not to worry about you.

    Like

  30. This is effing insane. I am in a state of shock and need to go away and pipe down before revisiting this blog. I am yet to make it all the way through one of your posts, and that’s not for lack of trying. Not because they suck. They’re great. I’m just too surprised. But I’m gonna click “follow” and see what happens! Thanks for liking my post “Mother Figures”. I hope you’ll be back soon to read the story. You might like it.

    Like

  31. thanks for stopping by … first thought was edgar allen poe … oh, not your writing, but the blur between fact&fiction … like it

    Like

  32. thanks for the invite, love that you are so far out that not sure you can be reached and reintegrated but no doubt we shall try – going to make some interesting reading / catch up for me

    Like

  33. Okay!! Not really sure if this page is for real or not? lol None the less Happy Easter and it made me smile. Apart from that I hope all is okay in your world! Hugs Paula xx

    Like

  34. Nolan,

    I, too have had many very interesting experiences with my own perception of reality. I shared it privately with one kind soul. You are unabashedly your own person. I applaud you for sharing yourself openly and honestly. Clearly you’re making an impression. Thank you for visiting my blog http://homeopathicpsychiatry.wordpress.com. I invite you back to experience my new reality whenever you choose.

    With love, Amanda

    Like

  35. Wow. Just … wow. Thanks for stopping by my blog and liking my latest post. You are a great writer, very descriptive, and I can’t get the visual out of my head! I look forward to reading more from you.

    Like

  36. Breathtaking. Purely inspirational writing. Thank you for liking Tired of All the frowns. It seems if I don’t let the skeletons in my closet behind the wheel of my emotions, that I come across as real. Hit me up sometime, though preferably without a reality bitch slap syringe. ;)
    Look forward to your reply if any.
    FSW

    Like

  37. Thanks for stopping by The Swamp, home of the 7 Evil Dwarves. Dude you’ve got to cover your Raisin Bran box with aluminum foil, the old fastened tin foil worked better but multiple layers of aluminum foil will help keep the brain taps from breaking through.

    Like

  38. If I had but a spoonful of your insanity I’d never be short for ideas. Thankfully I’m pretty sure I can catch that much through your infectious posts. Bravo.

    And thanks for checking out my short stories. Glad I made the trek to your side of the woods.

    Like

  39. I mentioned your site in a recent post on my blog. I’ve been blogging for a little over a year and couldn’t go by without mentioning your unique style. You’ve probably gotten a few liebster ‘awards’ but this one is granted for establishing a(n un)healthy level of insanity to my day. Rant on.

    Like

  40. Wow, I am amazed, I don’t even know how you ended up reading my blog, but I sure thank you for liking it, as many of the people here I wouldn’t have found you otherwise. Your Posts are, weird probably is the right word, yet they completely immerse people (or at least, my self) into your way of thinking, probably absurd, but definitely unique … I’ll sure keep reading your stuff (I’m Latin haha please don’t judge my English XD) …

    Like

  41. This is the most bizarre and gripping About I’ve ever read. EVER. I don’t know what to think. Or what to say. You’ve floored me.

    But gripping.

    I wish you luck.

    Like

  42. I’m too old and stuff and it’s only 4:40 AM and my coffee isn’t ready and I’m going to assign your blog as required reading for my 18-19-year-olds students writing about the grotesque in literature and ask them to figure it out.

    Like

    • If you do actually follow through with that let me know what they say. A friend in South America once had his students translating my stuff to Spanish and I think they encountered a few words outside the lesson plan haha. Take care good dude.

      Like

  43. Reading your blog reminds me of when i watch a movie, i can completely adore a character and yet find the actor like most thespians appalling and pretentious.

    i binge read your blog as I always do when I find one of worth. Obviously you are aware of your amazing abilities. They are often wasted on your horrible “provocative humor” Yes your anus and piss are so damn interesting you should mention them constantly, and you should most likely never breed.

    You remind me of this book The last exit to Brooklyn. I hated every bit of it, but in the end I was impressed. I hate you as a person, but over all what can I do but enjoy this disgusting pile of shit.

    I will most likely read everything you ever write.

    I hate music festivals and the people that enjoy them, but why should you care? You are smarter, more interesting, and ten times more “profound” then I am. Most likely it’s all for show, but isn’t everything?

    Anyway i despise you but your blogs addictive.

    I am already getting the shakes, thinking about getting that bubbly orange drink to help me kick you.

    Like

  44. You liking one of my post made me read yours. Your writing sucked me in your stories and if you did not have pictures I would I thought they were fiction. I am glad you experienced San Francisco in its finest and you recognized the beauty of the west coast :-)

    Like

    • I’m glad to hear you were drawn in. San Francisco is a great city and I will be back. I live in Portland now so get to experience that left coast beauty every day. Also, I enjoyed reading about the feline invasion of your bathroom. Best of luck when they take over the rest of your space ; )

      Like

      • Haha, I am afraid those cute rodents already have. A boat is a small living space and their catnip mice are hidden all over the place (nothing better than hiding your fav mouse in a sink full of dirty dishes!). Never been to Portland, but Oregon is on my list of states to see :-)

        Like

  45. Haha you are the epitome of a mentally contaminated Ressonance user who lost a portion of his consciousness while opening his mind’s gate under government surveillance. Haha dude, you could benefit from LOKBOLKS, a program that erases your mind of memories of connection to the Ressonance while closing your mind’s eye permanently. Unfortunately in 2102 I embodied the program into a six year old girl… In other words you’re screwed, read my book. It’s most certainly about the world your writing exists in.

    Peace!

    Like

  46. While reading on your posts it kinda reminds me of American Pie but in real life…and me eating popcorn and slouching in our couch while my parents are snoring and it was past my bed time. (reminiscing my not so young ago life)

    Wickedly awesome and unique ways to write ones’ misfits and life.

    Like

  47. Hi Nolan,
    you have a way with words worthy of recognition. Go write a book and find a publisher. This is the only way to escape the YMCA admin and cruelty to pigs. Thanks for coming by my blog.

    Like

  48. I’ve followed your blog from my various incarnations. I find you completely unsettling. I mean that in a good way.

    Like

    • Thanks so much, dude. I’ve lost track of how many people I’ve told about your site and adventures. It’s some of the best and most interesting writing I’ve ever come across. I hope to be reading you for years and years.

      Like

  49. You liked me. I read you. I found within your words a wacky attraction, one of which that makes me wish I was a warlock, because to be a witch would be counter to what I am. Real or fake, your expression hold my attention. Nestled within your bosom of creation, I feel sane. The continuance of yourself is beneficial to yourself, obviously, but to all those who are similarly minded. The slant to which you require us to climb comes as a comfort. I’m inclined to follow acute angles that support instability.

    Like

  50. Thanks for visiting my blog, now I have had the fortune to discover yours! You are spectacularly weird in the best sense. Your photo post about the cardboard signs was very touching, and reminded me of a friend who does punk rock shows under a bridge, for bridge people, and she also cooks them yummy food! :)

    Liked by 1 person

  51. Completely insane and completely beautiful. You make my journey seem mundane in the extreme, and I am extemely envious of you for it. Keep spitting out whatever comes into that gorgeously wacked brain of yours. After reading two posts I had to stop by and thank you for taking time to scan through my woes of life, although again, they are much more boring than anything I’ve seen from you so far.

    Like

  52. Thank you for checking out my blog and for liking my ‘Birthday Post’. Much appreciated!

    Also, I just have to say… I’ve been blown away by your incredible writing… billions upon billions of pages online, accessible to most denizens of this planet, and you have a singularly unique voice… one that reaches out and pulls people in to your world and keeps them coming back… AMAZING!

    I’ll be back for more too…

    Peace,

    Dave

    Like

  53. Dude, this is the best writing I’ve read in a long time, since Celine and Buckowsky (why not!). At least, it matters! And to think this is just the BEGINNING of your trip. Make sure to pick me up if you see me drunk by the wayside. Bon voyage.

    Like

  54. It’s so damn good I’ve run out of descriptors. I’m still waking up though, need a second cup. I think I’ve heard about you, the guy that lives under the bridge. Some people you know may have stared at my house. On the gangstalking issue; it’s much bigger the YMCA- though yes, I know their operations. If you ever want to chat black ops or just regular ops, email me at, no one else can email me here but you- so destroy this message after reading…. erikkahoon@gmail.com .

    Liked by 1 person

  55. Hey Nolan, thanks for liking my recent post and following me. Your blog and your tales are fascinating, compulsive, eye-opening, funny, poignant and bloody addictive! May you stay safe and well and continue to regale us with your adventures.

    Like

  56. Thanks for stopping by and liking my second most boring post. Your prescription teeth story has brought me to this page… yes I followed and now I know you’re completely insane “about” page is a ruse. Great writing style. I like it a bit. I’ll read more. Which is what I aspire to do with my writing. Kudos.

    Like

  57. I see you use mainly paper products on your head. May I suggest aluminum foil? It may cost more, but it blocks out a lot more things that tamper with your brain. Also, it doesn’t get soggy in the rain or in the shower. Sincerely, Bill.

    Like

  58. I have nominated you for a Liebster Award because I really like your blog and I do feel a connection between our ”worlds”. I simply adore the idea of your blog and I think it is downright outstanding. I love your imagination and following the adventures of Cluadia. Here is a link telling you how it is suppose to work but this is in no way obligatory of course and I will totally understand if you do not wanna doi this for wahtever reasons. It’s all good we totally understand. However I just wanted you to know I sincerly feel you deserve this award… Here is the link: http://tobedamit.com/2014/09/23/liebster-award-nomination/

    Liked by 1 person

  59. Where are you bro?
    Long time no see like they say in Belgium.
    Getting medication ouzing out of your veins? Making money?
    Wish I was there with you.
    Take care and ride on.
    Best.
    Ellar

    Like

  60. Dude, I’m worried.
    I can’t help it.
    I know, if you’re not writing, maybe you’re picking beets.
    Fuck Celine and fuck Buk.
    A man got to work and earn his living.
    Then again, maybe you’re kayaking in the plains.
    And I wish I was there.
    Take care.
    And say hi to your sister.
    I’ll meet with mine tomorrow.
    Sisters are the best.

    Like

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