I stripped to trunks and lay in the Texas sun. Hot light blasted an already reddened chest. Skin peeled off in pieces. I rolled them into balls and blew. My body sat beside a spring fed pool with dozens of others. Odd contingents of the old and homeless. After inhaling their chatter of acid reflux and diarrhea I decided to dip in.

Most days I try for an hour diced to two sessions. If not then lazy takes hold and I nap in the grass. I jumped up and forced myself to it. Stepped slow to the solitary spring. The water was cool and stretched a thousand feet. Ducks swam near but skitted as I drew closer.

I enacted small laps and treaded water. Kept in place as I watched others bounce off the board. Flips, dives, and belly flops. I’d fan my arms and push them up, sinking feet to mossy bottom. The sun beat down from above. I looked out at this orb over the trees. Received its hot shots. It was only spring but felt of summer. After a half hour I stepped out to dry in the grass. Rubbed beads of water and returned to my sitting spot.

Seconds after stepping out my body started to itch. Fire from within. Skin, hair, and eyes all as if frostbit then drenched in hot water. I lay on the towel and scratched my head. My scalp felt as if I’d soaked it in bleach. I’d swam countless times but never came across this. Never had allergies to more than cats. This felt like those animals burrowed inside but now wanted out. I thought perhaps it sunburn, that going from cold water to blazing sun set off a sense trigger. I decided to soap in the shower. Rinse bacteria from body.

In a full length mirror I looked over my skin. My arms and back erupted in hives. Raised red and white splotches. My eyes looked the aftermath of a six day bender. Vodka shots straight to the cornea. My face felt rubbery. Sun fucked meat stretching out a skin condom. I stepped to the shower and rinsed in cool water. Soaped and scrubbed myself twice. Cleaned each orifice, cock and anus included. When I finished I thought it felt better. But still my skin looked sick. Face swollen. Lips twice their size. A double shot of black market Botox.

I plugged both nose and mouth to blow. Shot pressure through ears. Steam cleaned the brain bacteria. I heard water sizzling in my head. Perhaps this was a reaction to that. Some amoeba swimming in me the same as I swam in its home. I focused on breathing. Inspected my neck. The airways felt fine. Still took deep breaths. My tongue looked chalky but not inflamed. Outsides swollen but innards the same.

I walk back to my sun spot to lay. All the while my lips turned worse. Grew bigger. I started thinking this might spread. Close airways. Despite that I stayed calm. I drank water and spit every minute to ensure I could swallow. Could coordinate mouth with tongue. When I spat it felt off, like slapping a sleeping limb.

I thought to dash and get Benadryl. But what if my eyes cemented as I drove? I thought of asking a lifeguard for help but felt embarrassed. I’m shy and introverted. Sometimes approach others but most often not. To ask for help isn’t in my nature. Makes me uncomfortable. Even in extremes I avoid it.

I once dug a hole in the woods and lived in it for five days with no food. On the third or fourth day I stripped naked and set out to swim across a river. One wide with fast current. I was weak from no sleep. Dirt pits not conducive to slumber. As I swam I went under, sucking water, almost blacking out. Somehow I made it to the opposite shore. I lay in muck for most of an hour, unable to find the strength to move more.

I was spent with no way to cross the river back to camp. But I was naked. Couldn’t walk to a farm while covered in mud with a dick flopped out. Even though I almost drowned, even though what little life force I had went into the first crossing, I decided it too embarrassing to ask for help. So I stepped to the water and swam my ass off. Almost drowned again but made it back. A poor decision that paid off. This the type of thinking that followed me to the pool. Power through and hope I make it.

I put a pillow over my swollen face. Focused on each breath. They drew in odd but not awful. If my breathing changed I promised myself to get help. I thought of being loaded into an ambulance. Of how I’d pay that bill as I’m uninsured. I told myself well I’ll just have to move back home. That’s all there is to it. I went swimming at the free pool and now have a decade of debt. And if I don’t make it I won’t even know. I’ll just stop breathing and that’ll be the end of it.

I’m an atheist but instinct called out to above. Maybe no more than an inner monologue. One that repeated the same two sentences: “Just let me breathe. Don’t let the swelling spread to my throat.” I knew this to be the thoughts of a man with no options. But a drowning rodent might cling for a rat trap if one dangled over. No shame in that. I felt calm in body but my mind raced. Its concern was valid. Not having breath would turn this from a worry to emergency.

I felt tired. Thought what if I go to sleep and never wake. The warm sun made rest as alluring as heaven. I checked the time. It’d been an hour since I stepped out the pool. If it hadn’t happened by now then it surely wouldn’t turn worse. My skin was still raised but no longer fire. I tested breath, voice, spit, and eyes. My right eye could only half open. That was new but my vision was fine. I looked up causes and outcomes. Perhaps some alchemy of elements threw my body into a tailspin. Whatever the cause it seemed I’d righted the ship.

All around people milled. No one knowing what was happening. I kept focus on my breath. Kept calm. Still, my mind flashed to images of an ambulance. Of telling a lifeguard what was happening. I practiced talking to see how my tongue felt. To know I could speak if I needed to ask for help. Help only to be called upon if I couldn’t breathe. Help asked after the point that any could be had.

Over the course of two hours the facial swelling subsisted. I’d dried out in the sun. Kettle boiled down to the burner. Looked myself over and found splotches on thighs. These remnants a reminder. I made way to the shower and stripped. Inspected once more. Found welts on my arms and around my cock. Saw my swollen face and hell-fried eyes. But my lips had shrunk. Now tingled. All senses returning.

I reflected back on my inner thoughts. How even though I felt calm I still bargained with an imagined entity. Still future tripped to a death pit of debt. How I enshrined my mind in strange tangents. Ones that bubble when options narrow and life turns uncertain. When there are no clear answers and all ahead hurdles. This all because I felt too timid to ask for help. A lifelong plague that often plays out more subtle.

That fault in my mind didn’t stick me this time. Hopefully wouldn’t the next. I felt happy for no bill but stupid for how I shrank. I took a deep breath, gave thanks, and carried on. Didn’t know how I’d react come the next crisis. Just told myself I’d never swim that pool again. Avoidance forever my one and only option. A plague I can’t seem to beat.

If you’re a billionaire who likes my writing but can’t cum unless you help me afford more than dumpster food then you’re in luck. Ways to support my work can be found here: https://gabfrab.com/make-a-wish-gross-hobo-edition/

27 thoughts on “A L L E R G I C

  1. dude are you still doing okay?

    as usual, I love your writing so much. it’s so raw. and even though you’re throwing out words like “cock”, the imagery in your writing is really beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well I’m not dead yet haha. No I’m all good! I still live in the ol’ car most of the time but am well. What happened here was some freak occurrence.

      Thank you! I really appreciate hearing that and you reading my stuff. If you thought cock was a tad much you should check out my last piece haha.

      Also, people click on your site from mine every few days for some reason. I’ve noticed that a lot over the last year. Who knows. Hope you and your son are well 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Our bodies are super weird. it was definitely an allergic reaction, my son has food allergies and it sounds very similar. hahaha no I would never think cock is too much, you just make cock sound so poetic somehow! wow that’s funny that people come to check mine out after you. maybe bc we are internet “friends”. ha. we are well, thank you. I wonder about you often, all the way over here in North Carolina.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Haha okay gotcha. I think someone described my writing as poetic filth which I thought to be quite fitting.

        I’m so honored that you think about me and take the time to read my stuff. Really, truly. Little connections like that are important. Feel free to drop a comment anytime. Thanks again 🙂

        Oh and I’m jealous you live in NC! I’ve only ever spent time in Asheville but the whole state was gorgeous as far as I could tell!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. it kind of is poetic filth! lol! that’s magical! you’re so nice. I find myself worrying about you from time to time, just wondering how you are and if you’re making it. I simultaneously envy the simplicity of your life. but the parallels between your life and mine are fascinating. your loneliness, I feel it in my bones. I am just as lonely but surrounded by people as you surround yourself with wilderness. I appreciate your friendship. I think little connections matter as well, but I live in a world that doesn’t believe in those.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I am always doing okay! Never a need to worry. Even when things are tough for me I always pull through. And my safety and well being is always top priority. So don’t worry! I’m an adult and live with my choices both good and bad.

        As for loneliness, I’m not sure how to explain it but I almost never feel it. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism? Maybe I’ve just grown used to being alone? Maybe I realized it’s okay to be alone and built an inner core that doesn’t really need others? I sometimes wonder but all I know is I almost always feel fine. It’s a mystery to me even though it’s my own life.

        As for you, I’m sad to hear that. I hope you start writing again. I know for myself it’s cathartic. It helps me work out the things in my head, understand my feelings, and learn about myself. Maybe you’ll get some of that too.

        I only know as much about you as what you’ve written, and that was all horrible stuff, so I don’t know if that’s where your pangs originate or if there’s other factors too. Either way it’s hard and I have no good answers. I hope you find some wellness that comes from within, and that you find what you need from others. I wish I had something better to say but I’m a loner and so have no thoughtful words to impart or give comfort. Thanks for writing. You’re a good lady. Take care 🙂


  2. Mom comment: Carry chewable children’s Benadryl with you! It gets into the bloodstream faster and immediately helps with tongue and throat swelling caused by an extreme allergic reaction. It’s better than nothing, though not as much of a life saver as an Epi-pen — which you might be able to get from a free clinic, but is temperature sensitive and not easy to store when you are outside a lot. Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate the idea. This is literally the only time in my life that’s happened. Hopefully just a freak occurence. If my face balloons again I’ll just focus on getting cast on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. scary! so you do not know of any known allergies? With it being a public swimming pool, most likely contact dermatitis. Just something that didn’t agree with your skin. Swimmers itch? I know they have that in lakes, I do not like public pools…full of people sharing a giant tub of water. no thanks. lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No I have no known allergies other than cats and something in the air at fall harvest. This pool is a natural spring that I’ve swam in many times. I’ve never had an issue before other than once I had a bit of itchy skin. It’s a mystery. And I’m so with you on public pools. I fuggin love to swim but pools are garbage compared to nature. I don’t think I’ve been in a traditional pool in years.

      Come summer I live in rivers and lakes. In Portland we have a nude beach on the river that I go to all the time. Nothing more magical than swimming nude, looking at mountains, and watching a ship go by en route to the ocean.

      Anyways, thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. oh yes, love my rivers! In Florida they have cold springs, and they are indeed cold! And so clear and beautiful. Never done nude, in fact I almost drowned trying to keep my top on once lol

        Liked by 1 person

  4. You’ve got talent. I did the live in the car thing for about 6 or 7 years. Why I liked going so much to the National Forests. At the free campsites it was MY PROPERTY for 14 days. It felt great having something that was mine for a little while at least.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I asked about the national forests before because they’re great to camp on and less popular than the parks. The national parks are my main passion but as the years go on I feel drawn more and more to national forests and BLM land. Some of my best memories involve camping on them, doing nothing but reading a book in the sun all day. They really are a gem.


      1. Yes they are great for camping. The downside is in the west where people are so filled with fear. I am not used to being feared by other people but they fear me there. And then the weirdos. Once near the Grand Canyon I parked my car among pinon trees in the middle of cow grazing land in the Kaibob National Forest. I woke up in the morning and found dried cum on the passenger window where somebody jacked off while I was asleep. How someone even found my car is a mystery as I thought it well hidden. It was disgusting, eerie, and filled with thoughts of what “could have” happened worse case scenarios. So I have mixed feelings of free dispersed camping out west. But I would do it again if I need to. Better to pay in established forest service campgrounds if you have the money. It is more normal and safe.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I somehow forgot to respond to this even though it’s been on my mind ever since I read it. That’s insane. I’m glad the creep didn’t go for you. I’m quite lucky to have never had a bad experience with any weirdos in the wild.

        I’ve camped in that same forest and will keep an eye out for the pasture ejaculator the next time I’m there haha. Best of luck wherever you may be this summer 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Real, painful, funny and entertaining – none of these words describe the ride you just took me on as they would need to be multiplied by a ton to achieve the descriptive term I’m looking for. So, being that I am seemingly incapable of telling you simply just how much I enjoyed reading that, I’ll take my leave. Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww. That was seriously so nice. When I read the first couple lines I was like “gee, thanks” and then it turned into something wonderful. Perfect comment haha. If you’re interested in reading more I have lots of great stuff on here, all of which will enter your equation of searching for the right word. Cheers 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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