I’ve been contacting this man for help over the past three months. I fear he’s been tapped or is being gangstalked himself. I’ve started the prayer chain and I ask you to please continue it.
Nolan, which bridge are you living under? The pedestrian bridge? The one by Gentech (you know the place that grows the skin?) It’s been 4 years since I lived there. Also, you know the feet smelling thing you did to your sister. Well, my older sister to that to me, as well as sticking rocks up my nose and making me eat dog food. I’m scarred for life. I hope your sister is okay. BTW, love your posts. They’re kind of like Vonnegut meets David Sedaris.
I live under the pedestrian bridge, but please don’t send your sister my way if her only purpose is to shove rocks up my nose. I appreciate the kind words. I’ve read quite a bit from both those authors. I used to listen to Sedaris audiobooks while operating a tractor to plow fields. It made the work much more enjoyable.
Wow. Is it weird or brilliant? Almost insane and disturbing. I have mixed feelings about your posts, but you are very good at putting your words together, making sense in depth but borderline meaningless.
Thank you for stopping by!
Hmmm. Utterly disgusted and fascinated by your posts at the same time. Reminds me of some of Chuck Palahniuk’s less famous books. I had to force myself to finish reading your posts, but I’m glad you’re insane/brilliant enough to embrace the madness inside of your brain that most people shrink from. Had to follow 😛
I read this after waking up from a nap. It was a nice way to kick off some laying around. Thanks, and I’m glad you took the time to force yourself through some of my writing.
Hmm, this is a far cry from my usual mystery and urban fantasy novels, and in She Stirs the Soup, you killed a kitten. Just not done. But you sure have a way with words! Keep writing.
Thanx for liking my post. If not for the like I would never of found yours. I too have lived under a bridge in my past life, scavenging for muscles off the rocks which I cooked over a fire by the beach. I believe the bridge saved my life. had it not been for that shelter I probably would have died from the elements. I didnt wear a cereal box on the side of my head but did use a Hefty trash bag as a raincoat. My days of riding my bicycle with cards in the spokes scrounging for aluminum cans that allowed me to buy a pack of Mavericks are over yet not forgotten, I applaud you for your honesty and creativity. People like you and me for that matter are what make this life interesting to others….
Nolan: You are such a talented writer. I particularly love your piece about living on the border between Minnesota and North Dakota. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I look forward to reading more from you. Amy
Hi there! I’m very rarely at a loss for words, but I am with your blog. It really caught me off guard and yet I was intrigued enough to keep reading beyond the About page. Interesting writing style. I’ll be back again. And by the way thanks for stopping by my blog and I hope to see you soon.
I had to stop by your blog and I am lost in all your writings. The rhythm of your work and energy just drew me in. Cannot wait to see what else you come up with!
I’m writing a book about a guy who lives in his car and travels the country going to festivals. He spends his nights masturbating in the cold trunk or inducing DMT monsters because his girlfriend fucked his heart.
Hi Nolan, your blog is great and so is your blogroll. I particularly love your photos, and that fact that you are “often mocked and insulted by multiple family members” struck a real chord with me and brought me to tears. (Although actually my family don’t have the microwave technology thing. All that has yet to reach West Yorkshire – we prefer coal fires.) I can recommend immersing yourself in romantic fiction as a way of escaping the vicissitudes of modern life.
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. http://www.helenafairfax.com
I appreciate the cry. Your family most likely has been affected by microwave technology and are using various brain taps to keep that fact from you. I prefer reading smut because my teeth fell out and so I can’t relate to romance as my only sexual encounters are with prostitutes who won’t kiss me.
Thanks for liking my post Nolan – I realize I have very little imagination after reading your posts. It is a little weird for me, yet I can’t stop reading it either. I’ll be interested to see what your fertile brain comes up with next.
Hey Nolan, I’ve never read anything like our stuff before. Can’t quite decide what I think of it, but you write wonderfully-that’s for sure. Thanks so much for the like on my blog. Will have to revisit yours, you’ve got me hooked!
I appreciate you liking my blog. You are peculiar. And while reading down your About Me, I had a pretty strong urge to click the ‘sex’ category, but didn’t. I will need to build up to that. Mazel tov, on the blog. Your vocabulary, although morbid and provocative, is spectacular.
You were right. Do you mind me stalking you for a bit? I’m a good wife, and pose no real threat. Just think about it. I am quite odd myself. Your writing seems to liberate people. I’m really drawn to that. PLUS, I love the dog guy on your naughty questions post that complimented your no ‘holes barred’ approach. It really made my whole week, that dog guy. I’m going to stalk him, too. I am a lover of the cheap laugh.
I love your writing style. If I weren’t so ADD, I’d read another whole post. Don’t take that personally. I’m being completely serious. However, I was able to stay focused on this post. LOVED IT. I’ll definitely be stopping by again. This makes me want to go write something awesome.
…I guess I can say with all honesty I have never read anything quite so unusual, but I guess it sparked some part of me, cuz I’m following now! I had better read a little more so I’m not so confused…
Lorna 🙂
Also, in some of your photos you look like a live-action Scott Pilgrim. Like…exponentially more so than Michael Cera did. It is uncanny.
Your writing style is compelling and makes you seem (to me) older than you actually are – possibly because I am a jaded old bitch who thinks everyone in their 20s types exclusively in some variation 733t.
This concludes the part of our program in which I spew random observations at you.
It’s good you think I seem older because I’m often mistaken for a twenty year old which is no good. Also, I appreciate all the kind words you conjured for me while skating through my subspace highway.
I believe I know why you think I’m so young. I’m told I look roughly 16. They’ve been saying this for over 17 years. I don’t know if he was a REAL vampire or not, but I was bitten by him at fifteen. He shoved me into the center of a pentagram. I was forced to repeat every spell. From then until 21 I generally got sick each time I prayed. At 25 my teeth fell out and the stubs got pulled.
At 33 on March 3rd my whole body went into shut down mode. I woke up March 4th at 3 pm. I was hooked to all sorts of monitors and visited by the dearly departed. I swear I may be a vampire, a ghoul, a familiar or a werewolf.
That is some cool shit, great writing, fucked up in a sensible nonsensical flow of thoughts. Like reading the mind of a schizophrenic. I like it a lot.
Nolan, I came by to visit and slipped into a netherworld as I was reading some of your posts– a dark and twisted rabbit hole (mouse hole?) far different than anything Alice ever encountered! (I’m glad to see you have a normal-looking mom).
Thanks for stopping by my site.
I’m often considered the biggest inspiration (and reason for living) to most who’ve met me, heard of me, or felt my karmic wave. Your nomination comes as zero surprise.
Thank you for liking my blog. Reading yours makes me feel very normal. I am horrified yet fascinated by your writing. I won’t begin to describe the visuals that flood my brain; in fact, I’m trying to stop thinking about them. I have looked for decades for someone as funny and twisted as John Kennedy Toole, especially as any movie that exploits his book is bound to disappoint. I don’t know whether to wish you well or wish you more disturbed. I will try not to worry about you.
This is effing insane. I am in a state of shock and need to go away and pipe down before revisiting this blog. I am yet to make it all the way through one of your posts, and that’s not for lack of trying. Not because they suck. They’re great. I’m just too surprised. But I’m gonna click “follow” and see what happens! Thanks for liking my post “Mother Figures”. I hope you’ll be back soon to read the story. You might like it.
thanks for the invite, love that you are so far out that not sure you can be reached and reintegrated but no doubt we shall try – going to make some interesting reading / catch up for me
Okay!! Not really sure if this page is for real or not? lol None the less Happy Easter and it made me smile. Apart from that I hope all is okay in your world! Hugs Paula xx
I, too have had many very interesting experiences with my own perception of reality. I shared it privately with one kind soul. You are unabashedly your own person. I applaud you for sharing yourself openly and honestly. Clearly you’re making an impression. Thank you for visiting my blog http://homeopathicpsychiatry.wordpress.com. I invite you back to experience my new reality whenever you choose.
Wow. Just … wow. Thanks for stopping by my blog and liking my latest post. You are a great writer, very descriptive, and I can’t get the visual out of my head! I look forward to reading more from you.
Breathtaking. Purely inspirational writing. Thank you for liking Tired of All the frowns. It seems if I don’t let the skeletons in my closet behind the wheel of my emotions, that I come across as real. Hit me up sometime, though preferably without a reality bitch slap syringe. 😉
Look forward to your reply if any.
FSW
If I had but a spoonful of your insanity I’d never be short for ideas. Thankfully I’m pretty sure I can catch that much through your infectious posts. Bravo.
And thanks for checking out my short stories. Glad I made the trek to your side of the woods.
I mentioned your site in a recent post on my blog. I’ve been blogging for a little over a year and couldn’t go by without mentioning your unique style. You’ve probably gotten a few liebster ‘awards’ but this one is granted for establishing a(n un)healthy level of insanity to my day. Rant on.
Wow, I am amazed, I don’t even know how you ended up reading my blog, but I sure thank you for liking it, as many of the people here I wouldn’t have found you otherwise. Your Posts are, weird probably is the right word, yet they completely immerse people (or at least, my self) into your way of thinking, probably absurd, but definitely unique … I’ll sure keep reading your stuff (I’m Latin haha please don’t judge my English XD) …
Why do I get the feeling that someone revived Kurt Vonnegut and laced his scotch and soda, and now he’s writing a blog? Wonderful, twisted, and brilliant. Horrifying. Great job.
I’m too old and stuff and it’s only 4:40 AM and my coffee isn’t ready and I’m going to assign your blog as required reading for my 18-19-year-olds students writing about the grotesque in literature and ask them to figure it out.
If you do actually follow through with that let me know what they say. A friend in South America once had his students translating my stuff to Spanish and I think they encountered a few words outside the lesson plan haha. Take care good dude.
Reading your blog reminds me of when i watch a movie, i can completely adore a character and yet find the actor like most thespians appalling and pretentious.
i binge read your blog as I always do when I find one of worth. Obviously you are aware of your amazing abilities. They are often wasted on your horrible “provocative humor” Yes your anus and piss are so damn interesting you should mention them constantly, and you should most likely never breed.
You remind me of this book The last exit to Brooklyn. I hated every bit of it, but in the end I was impressed. I hate you as a person, but over all what can I do but enjoy this disgusting pile of shit.
I will most likely read everything you ever write.
I hate music festivals and the people that enjoy them, but why should you care? You are smarter, more interesting, and ten times more “profound” then I am. Most likely it’s all for show, but isn’t everything?
Anyway i despise you but your blogs addictive.
I am already getting the shakes, thinking about getting that bubbly orange drink to help me kick you.
You liking one of my post made me read yours. Your writing sucked me in your stories and if you did not have pictures I would I thought they were fiction. I am glad you experienced San Francisco in its finest and you recognized the beauty of the west coast 🙂
I’m glad to hear you were drawn in. San Francisco is a great city and I will be back. I live in Portland now so get to experience that left coast beauty every day. Also, I enjoyed reading about the feline invasion of your bathroom. Best of luck when they take over the rest of your space ; )
Haha, I am afraid those cute rodents already have. A boat is a small living space and their catnip mice are hidden all over the place (nothing better than hiding your fav mouse in a sink full of dirty dishes!). Never been to Portland, but Oregon is on my list of states to see 🙂
Haha you are the epitome of a mentally contaminated Ressonance user who lost a portion of his consciousness while opening his mind’s gate under government surveillance. Haha dude, you could benefit from LOKBOLKS, a program that erases your mind of memories of connection to the Ressonance while closing your mind’s eye permanently. Unfortunately in 2102 I embodied the program into a six year old girl… In other words you’re screwed, read my book. It’s most certainly about the world your writing exists in.
While reading on your posts it kinda reminds me of American Pie but in real life…and me eating popcorn and slouching in our couch while my parents are snoring and it was past my bed time. (reminiscing my not so young ago life)
Wickedly awesome and unique ways to write ones’ misfits and life.
Hi Nolan,
you have a way with words worthy of recognition. Go write a book and find a publisher. This is the only way to escape the YMCA admin and cruelty to pigs. Thanks for coming by my blog.
Thanks so much, dude. I’ve lost track of how many people I’ve told about your site and adventures. It’s some of the best and most interesting writing I’ve ever come across. I hope to be reading you for years and years.
You liked me. I read you. I found within your words a wacky attraction, one of which that makes me wish I was a warlock, because to be a witch would be counter to what I am. Real or fake, your expression hold my attention. Nestled within your bosom of creation, I feel sane. The continuance of yourself is beneficial to yourself, obviously, but to all those who are similarly minded. The slant to which you require us to climb comes as a comfort. I’m inclined to follow acute angles that support instability.
Thanks for visiting my blog, now I have had the fortune to discover yours! You are spectacularly weird in the best sense. Your photo post about the cardboard signs was very touching, and reminded me of a friend who does punk rock shows under a bridge, for bridge people, and she also cooks them yummy food! 🙂
Completely insane and completely beautiful. You make my journey seem mundane in the extreme, and I am extemely envious of you for it. Keep spitting out whatever comes into that gorgeously wacked brain of yours. After reading two posts I had to stop by and thank you for taking time to scan through my woes of life, although again, they are much more boring than anything I’ve seen from you so far.
Thank you for checking out my blog and for liking my ‘Birthday Post’. Much appreciated!
Also, I just have to say… I’ve been blown away by your incredible writing… billions upon billions of pages online, accessible to most denizens of this planet, and you have a singularly unique voice… one that reaches out and pulls people in to your world and keeps them coming back… AMAZING!
Dude, this is the best writing I’ve read in a long time, since Celine and Buckowsky (why not!). At least, it matters! And to think this is just the BEGINNING of your trip. Make sure to pick me up if you see me drunk by the wayside. Bon voyage.
It’s so damn good I’ve run out of descriptors. I’m still waking up though, need a second cup. I think I’ve heard about you, the guy that lives under the bridge. Some people you know may have stared at my house. On the gangstalking issue; it’s much bigger the YMCA- though yes, I know their operations. If you ever want to chat black ops or just regular ops, email me at, no one else can email me here but you- so destroy this message after reading…. erikkahoon@gmail.com .
Hey Nolan, thanks for liking my recent post and following me. Your blog and your tales are fascinating, compulsive, eye-opening, funny, poignant and bloody addictive! May you stay safe and well and continue to regale us with your adventures.
Thanks for stopping by and liking my second most boring post. Your prescription teeth story has brought me to this page… yes I followed and now I know you’re completely insane “about” page is a ruse. Great writing style. I like it a bit. I’ll read more. Which is what I aspire to do with my writing. Kudos.
I see you use mainly paper products on your head. May I suggest aluminum foil? It may cost more, but it blocks out a lot more things that tamper with your brain. Also, it doesn’t get soggy in the rain or in the shower. Sincerely, Bill.
I have nominated you for a Liebster Award because I really like your blog and I do feel a connection between our ”worlds”. I simply adore the idea of your blog and I think it is downright outstanding. I love your imagination and following the adventures of Cluadia. Here is a link telling you how it is suppose to work but this is in no way obligatory of course and I will totally understand if you do not wanna doi this for wahtever reasons. It’s all good we totally understand. However I just wanted you to know I sincerly feel you deserve this award… Here is the link: http://tobedamit.com/2014/09/23/liebster-award-nomination/
Where are you bro?
Long time no see like they say in Belgium.
Getting medication ouzing out of your veins? Making money?
Wish I was there with you.
Take care and ride on.
Best.
Ellar
Hey dude. I’m putting up a new piece soon though it’s not about the road. I haven’t resolved my medical issues yet so getting back to the road in a timely manner depends on how that goes. I appreciate the checkup and all the other nice comments you’ve left. I hope you can do some travel for the both of us until I’m well. When I get back out there I’ll write about all the new meds they’re injecting me with haha.
Bro, nice to hear from you.
So you’re doing well enough and I’m happy about that.
A new piece, huh? I’ll read that.
Yeah I thought of you, driving for the two of us.
Here’s my latest travels https://ellarwise.wordpress.com/2014/12/08/adam-rides-north-reaches-the-last-frontier-chapter-lxxxiii/
As I wrote it, I was thinking of you, loaded with a bunch of needle, for science’ sake.
Acupuncture!
Nothing like a ride and a drink and whatever.
Take care
Dude, I’m worried.
I can’t help it.
I know, if you’re not writing, maybe you’re picking beets.
Fuck Celine and fuck Buk.
A man got to work and earn his living.
Then again, maybe you’re kayaking in the plains.
And I wish I was there.
Take care.
And say hi to your sister.
I’ll meet with mine tomorrow.
Sisters are the best.
You are one strange dude.
And I kind of like it.
Thanks for reading and liking my very un-bizarre and not strange post.
Perhaps making new friends is freakishly weird?
Thanks for the like. Your art work is totally demented Old Son. Reminds me of some early Frank Zappa sleeves.
I’ve heard about Portland. Are there other things there beside a ton of drugs and an excess of clubs?
Portland. I should also add a lot of neo-hippies. FYI. I have no connection with fast food whatsoever.
I’m the first son of King Tubby the late and beyond great dub master. Check out dads highly influential King Tubby meets Rockers Uptown, probably the most influential LP in the last 40 years. Dad also has a pretty good Wicki entry which I recommend.
I unfortunately abandoned Rastafarianism, blew all of dads considerable revenue streams and ended up marrying a cohort of Oriental slave girls. We now all live in straightened but honest circumstances out in the piney woods, and support ourselves by selling organic tofu and joss sticks at the local markets. If I could just wean them off Canto and K Pop which drives me to bloody distraction, life would be perfect. Unfortunately, they make me sleep by myself in the barn every time I turn down the volume
heh, literally I think you are me when I was -22 and 3/4. Too bad I’ll never see through the cigs, but then I never have, have I? Drinking is fine, just know like any inspired dance, they all collapse in a poof someday, im poooped now…brilliant meat here.
Must be nice …. I have so much fucking paranoia in my life it’s ridiculous! Six people are watching me at all times … seriously, THIS WAS GREAT… ! really interesting … fun and … fuck! i bet you COULD rig up a microwave oven for listening. The device could be put in at the factory. Wull … i bet they’d be bored lot of the time … STILL !!
That was fun! Your family …. chuckle chuckle …. later … ks
So I wake up this morning, feed the chickens and the dog, water the pots of flowers and the bed of potatoes etc. by the patio, and then, as I am recovering from a nasty virus, I set my phone alarm before going back to sleep and there is a PING to let me know you hit the Like button on my blog post. This doesn’t happen often so I wonder what brought you my way and I read your latest blog post. The title was an eye-catcher (I figured it for misogynist like “cum-catcher” from back in the redneck, construction culture of Southern Ohio “where the depression never left”). So I read your post (it was not misogynist, thank you) and I still don’t know why you would bother to read mine. (not begging for compliments here) You have sought out, or it has sought you out, some interesting material to work with. Others have done this (as others have mentioned above – I would add Steinbeck) and met with critical acclaim and maybe, in this generation, it’s your turn. Get out your chisel and carve away!
Hey! I grew up in a rural area so am all too familiar with the sexism that’s rampant among some dudes. As for you, many nights I click around on WordPress looking for things to skim or read via tags. So many people are living fascinating lives or telling their truth. Pretty sure that’s how I found ya. Thanks for reading!
Thanks for reading and the Like. When I got an email about it, your profile pic (rather than about me page pic) cracked me up, partially because BECAUSE, though I feared I was missing some innuendo, but I’d guess some of my enjoyment came from the fact that my dynamic trio dressed up in cardboard during college, and did other self expression and playing pretend. It took a while to realize you were in cigarette boxes specifically. I mentioned the whole thing to Trio Member number X, who said it was like you were expressing that you’d sold yourself to cigarettes, and I had the thought that I hadn’t thought concretely too much about you being expressing yourself, and so now I am here to ask- what are you expressing in said profile pic? Haha. Thanks again for the reading and the like!
Haha it was just a Halloween costume constructed from a million empty cigarette cartons. I went as a door to door cigarette salesman. Here’s a more complete photo: https://imgur.com/aEG8kJx
Wtf everything about this? The monotony of my corporate job was just relieved by a depraved post about baiting animal fuckers on Craigslist. This might have been the best thing I’ve read on WordPress. Thanks for making me feel horrible about laughing.
Still kayaking and just finished a backpacking trip in the Oregon mountains! I hadn’t heard from you in so long I thought there was a good chance you’d passed on. Glad you’re still kicking. Now get back to writing.
Yeah still kicking. And still kayaking my own river of shit. Sometimes there is a lively salmon, often dead catfish. Then again, aren’t we all alone ?
I was in the US a few month ago and singlehandedly brought O’Hare airport to a stop so, like a crying baby, I could get drunk with my friends there.
I’ll go back tell one day, if I don’t pass on. Tonight, boozing in Paris, next drink is for you.
I have only had wee peek, a little glimpse of the life you are living. I will follow you and come back to explore more later. Netflix and chill is getting repetitive and good books are hard to find. I look forward to getting lost in the life you have choosen and the life that has chosen you.
Dear Nolan, are you serious? I mean that. If you are contact me; perhaps it is better to do so privately but suit yourself.
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I’ve been contacting this man for help over the past three months. I fear he’s been tapped or is being gangstalked himself. I’ve started the prayer chain and I ask you to please continue it.
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I love his misuse of the comma.
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This picture, is it from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2? If so, Congratulations. You rule.
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It’s from The Dark Crystal. My sister’s boyfriend is from Guatemala and learned to speak English from the TMNT movies though haha.
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If only I could learn Japanese in the same way.
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I used to have a pic from the movie on here. That’s all.
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Hahahaha
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Hope you survive, just don’t turn into a mutant or something….
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This sounds really extreme – never read anything like it! Um… better read another post to see what you’re about! VERY weird… & that’s coming from ME!
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Nolan, which bridge are you living under? The pedestrian bridge? The one by Gentech (you know the place that grows the skin?) It’s been 4 years since I lived there. Also, you know the feet smelling thing you did to your sister. Well, my older sister to that to me, as well as sticking rocks up my nose and making me eat dog food. I’m scarred for life. I hope your sister is okay. BTW, love your posts. They’re kind of like Vonnegut meets David Sedaris.
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I live under the pedestrian bridge, but please don’t send your sister my way if her only purpose is to shove rocks up my nose. I appreciate the kind words. I’ve read quite a bit from both those authors. I used to listen to Sedaris audiobooks while operating a tractor to plow fields. It made the work much more enjoyable.
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Uhuu, Compared to your stories, my puppets are voodoo gone mellow. :). But we do have something in common!
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I love your puppets. Every time they pop up in my follow feed I admire how beautiful they are and the adventures you put them through.
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There is nothing more entertaining than a finely tuned psychosis! Pass the Lithium, Seroquel and Lamectal ! Bravo, my wack job friend.
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I agree 100%. 😀
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Couldn’t have said it better myself.
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I understand. Stay under the bridge, but rejoin a wireless society ASAP. Isolation is too dangerous. Organize.
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oh, yes PZS is right. “rejoin a wireless society ASAP. Isolation is too dangerous. Organize.”
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Wow. Is it weird or brilliant? Almost insane and disturbing. I have mixed feelings about your posts, but you are very good at putting your words together, making sense in depth but borderline meaningless.
Thank you for stopping by!
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Hmmm. Utterly disgusted and fascinated by your posts at the same time. Reminds me of some of Chuck Palahniuk’s less famous books. I had to force myself to finish reading your posts, but I’m glad you’re insane/brilliant enough to embrace the madness inside of your brain that most people shrink from. Had to follow 😛
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I read this after waking up from a nap. It was a nice way to kick off some laying around. Thanks, and I’m glad you took the time to force yourself through some of my writing.
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This is lovely.
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Hmm, this is a far cry from my usual mystery and urban fantasy novels, and in She Stirs the Soup, you killed a kitten. Just not done. But you sure have a way with words! Keep writing.
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A character killed it. Not me. And the character is meant to be despicable. Keep misunderstanding character motivation and authorial intent!
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When the characters take over the story in your head, you’ll have to fight to have a voice:)
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Your stories haunt me and pop into my mind at inopportune moments. So well done they definitely have some sticking power.
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That’d just be the brain tap technology at work. Please check the rear of your neck for any unfamiliar bumps or noticeably protruding wires.
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Thanx for liking my post. If not for the like I would never of found yours. I too have lived under a bridge in my past life, scavenging for muscles off the rocks which I cooked over a fire by the beach. I believe the bridge saved my life. had it not been for that shelter I probably would have died from the elements. I didnt wear a cereal box on the side of my head but did use a Hefty trash bag as a raincoat. My days of riding my bicycle with cards in the spokes scrounging for aluminum cans that allowed me to buy a pack of Mavericks are over yet not forgotten, I applaud you for your honesty and creativity. People like you and me for that matter are what make this life interesting to others….
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I loved this, especially the part about scraping mussels off rocks to cook on beach fires. Beautiful image.
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This is superb – Funny real yet unreal great sense of the absurd – best stuff i have read in ages – tim ruane – ruanetimothy430.gmail.com
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Thanks for the kind words, Tim. Is your email malfunctioning? I’ve sent 80+ emails in the last week but still no reply.
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Nolan: You are such a talented writer. I particularly love your piece about living on the border between Minnesota and North Dakota. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I look forward to reading more from you. Amy
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Offbeat. I like it. Also, agree with chapamy above: you’re a very talented writer. Looking forward to more.
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Hi there! I’m very rarely at a loss for words, but I am with your blog. It really caught me off guard and yet I was intrigued enough to keep reading beyond the About page. Interesting writing style. I’ll be back again. And by the way thanks for stopping by my blog and I hope to see you soon.
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I had to stop by your blog and I am lost in all your writings. The rhythm of your work and energy just drew me in. Cannot wait to see what else you come up with!
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HAhaa! Still laughing about the puppy DNA! 😀 Brilliant writing 🙂
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I’m typing this from a crate loaded in the back of a semi. They’re sending me to the dog meat factory.
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Like your work a lot. Evocative, rich, insightful. Really interesting. Are you working on a novel? Thanks for dropping by mine.
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I’m writing a book about a guy who lives in his car and travels the country going to festivals. He spends his nights masturbating in the cold trunk or inducing DMT monsters because his girlfriend fucked his heart.
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This is too hard for me. 😦
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I’ve found that eating carrots from the garden helps improve my mind’s ability to comprehend basic reading.
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I bow, pressing palms together, in your general direction.
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Aim your prayers toward North Dakota and bow to me five times a day.
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uckchentung ver-Bar-lis!
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Hi Nolan, your blog is great and so is your blogroll. I particularly love your photos, and that fact that you are “often mocked and insulted by multiple family members” struck a real chord with me and brought me to tears. (Although actually my family don’t have the microwave technology thing. All that has yet to reach West Yorkshire – we prefer coal fires.) I can recommend immersing yourself in romantic fiction as a way of escaping the vicissitudes of modern life.
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog.
http://www.helenafairfax.com
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I appreciate the cry. Your family most likely has been affected by microwave technology and are using various brain taps to keep that fact from you. I prefer reading smut because my teeth fell out and so I can’t relate to romance as my only sexual encounters are with prostitutes who won’t kiss me.
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Thanks for liking my post Nolan – I realize I have very little imagination after reading your posts. It is a little weird for me, yet I can’t stop reading it either. I’ll be interested to see what your fertile brain comes up with next.
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Hey Nolan, I’ve never read anything like our stuff before. Can’t quite decide what I think of it, but you write wonderfully-that’s for sure. Thanks so much for the like on my blog. Will have to revisit yours, you’ve got me hooked!
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I appreciate you liking my blog. You are peculiar. And while reading down your About Me, I had a pretty strong urge to click the ‘sex’ category, but didn’t. I will need to build up to that. Mazel tov, on the blog. Your vocabulary, although morbid and provocative, is spectacular.
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And now I can’t help, but read more. Did you plant something in your blog to do this to me?
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You’ve been implanted with some new brainwave technology that makes ya wanna read on. Click the sex category. You’ll get a good read.
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You were right. Do you mind me stalking you for a bit? I’m a good wife, and pose no real threat. Just think about it. I am quite odd myself. Your writing seems to liberate people. I’m really drawn to that. PLUS, I love the dog guy on your naughty questions post that complimented your no ‘holes barred’ approach. It really made my whole week, that dog guy. I’m going to stalk him, too. I am a lover of the cheap laugh.
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Stalk away.
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That kicked ass.
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I love your writing style. If I weren’t so ADD, I’d read another whole post. Don’t take that personally. I’m being completely serious. However, I was able to stay focused on this post. LOVED IT. I’ll definitely be stopping by again. This makes me want to go write something awesome.
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Wow.
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Incredible. Keep at it.
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I just nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. I think your blog is bad ass. http://fifty5cents.wordpress.com/2013/01/13/versatile-blogger-award-me/
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Why thank you.
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…I guess I can say with all honesty I have never read anything quite so unusual, but I guess it sparked some part of me, cuz I’m following now! I had better read a little more so I’m not so confused…
Lorna 🙂
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Oh hai.
I just “got” your username. It made me facepalm.
Also, in some of your photos you look like a live-action Scott Pilgrim. Like…exponentially more so than Michael Cera did. It is uncanny.
Your writing style is compelling and makes you seem (to me) older than you actually are – possibly because I am a jaded old bitch who thinks everyone in their 20s types exclusively in some variation 733t.
This concludes the part of our program in which I spew random observations at you.
Kthxbai.
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It’s good you think I seem older because I’m often mistaken for a twenty year old which is no good. Also, I appreciate all the kind words you conjured for me while skating through my subspace highway.
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I believe I know why you think I’m so young. I’m told I look roughly 16. They’ve been saying this for over 17 years. I don’t know if he was a REAL vampire or not, but I was bitten by him at fifteen. He shoved me into the center of a pentagram. I was forced to repeat every spell. From then until 21 I generally got sick each time I prayed. At 25 my teeth fell out and the stubs got pulled.
At 33 on March 3rd my whole body went into shut down mode. I woke up March 4th at 3 pm. I was hooked to all sorts of monitors and visited by the dearly departed. I swear I may be a vampire, a ghoul, a familiar or a werewolf.
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That is some cool shit, great writing, fucked up in a sensible nonsensical flow of thoughts. Like reading the mind of a schizophrenic. I like it a lot.
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You are awesome. I am smitten.
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I went to your site and gave my screen a psychic sniff. We are now mutually smitten.
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Nolan, I came by to visit and slipped into a netherworld as I was reading some of your posts– a dark and twisted rabbit hole (mouse hole?) far different than anything Alice ever encountered! (I’m glad to see you have a normal-looking mom).
Thanks for stopping by my site.
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Hello,
I have nominated you for The Very Inspiring Blogger Award.
Check it out http://thejennymacbookblog.wordpress.com/
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Thanks, I appreciate it.
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Of course 🙂
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Lautreamont, Jarry, Artaud and Breton are interesting reads, yes?
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Hi Nolan, I nominated you for “The Very Inspiring Blogger Award”. Here: http://wp.me/p2YjS7-3Z Cheers!
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I’m often considered the biggest inspiration (and reason for living) to most who’ve met me, heard of me, or felt my karmic wave. Your nomination comes as zero surprise.
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LOL…I agree. Thank you for your visit and liking “Heart and Love”.
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Thank you for liking my blog. Reading yours makes me feel very normal. I am horrified yet fascinated by your writing. I won’t begin to describe the visuals that flood my brain; in fact, I’m trying to stop thinking about them. I have looked for decades for someone as funny and twisted as John Kennedy Toole, especially as any movie that exploits his book is bound to disappoint. I don’t know whether to wish you well or wish you more disturbed. I will try not to worry about you.
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I completely approve of your Dark Crystal picture banner!
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HI! I’ve nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award.
http://thoughtsofafutureauthor.wordpress.com/2013/03/22/it-happened-again/
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This is effing insane. I am in a state of shock and need to go away and pipe down before revisiting this blog. I am yet to make it all the way through one of your posts, and that’s not for lack of trying. Not because they suck. They’re great. I’m just too surprised. But I’m gonna click “follow” and see what happens! Thanks for liking my post “Mother Figures”. I hope you’ll be back soon to read the story. You might like it.
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thanks for the invite, love that you are so far out that not sure you can be reached and reintegrated but no doubt we shall try – going to make some interesting reading / catch up for me
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Okay!! Not really sure if this page is for real or not? lol None the less Happy Easter and it made me smile. Apart from that I hope all is okay in your world! Hugs Paula xx
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Nolan,
I, too have had many very interesting experiences with my own perception of reality. I shared it privately with one kind soul. You are unabashedly your own person. I applaud you for sharing yourself openly and honestly. Clearly you’re making an impression. Thank you for visiting my blog http://homeopathicpsychiatry.wordpress.com. I invite you back to experience my new reality whenever you choose.
With love, Amanda
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Wow. Just … wow. Thanks for stopping by my blog and liking my latest post. You are a great writer, very descriptive, and I can’t get the visual out of my head! I look forward to reading more from you.
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bukowski must be blessing you from far out there past this galaxy.
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Breathtaking. Purely inspirational writing. Thank you for liking Tired of All the frowns. It seems if I don’t let the skeletons in my closet behind the wheel of my emotions, that I come across as real. Hit me up sometime, though preferably without a reality bitch slap syringe. 😉
Look forward to your reply if any.
FSW
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Very interesting writing :¬) style reminds me of J.G Ballard
Also, thank you for liking one of my works.
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You’re out of your goddam mind. I love it.
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If I had but a spoonful of your insanity I’d never be short for ideas. Thankfully I’m pretty sure I can catch that much through your infectious posts. Bravo.
And thanks for checking out my short stories. Glad I made the trek to your side of the woods.
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I mentioned your site in a recent post on my blog. I’ve been blogging for a little over a year and couldn’t go by without mentioning your unique style. You’ve probably gotten a few liebster ‘awards’ but this one is granted for establishing a(n un)healthy level of insanity to my day. Rant on.
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Are you homeless?
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Yeah I sleep in the trunk of my car now. Come over for tea sometime haha.
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Wow, I am amazed, I don’t even know how you ended up reading my blog, but I sure thank you for liking it, as many of the people here I wouldn’t have found you otherwise. Your Posts are, weird probably is the right word, yet they completely immerse people (or at least, my self) into your way of thinking, probably absurd, but definitely unique … I’ll sure keep reading your stuff (I’m Latin haha please don’t judge my English XD) …
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Why do I get the feeling that someone revived Kurt Vonnegut and laced his scotch and soda, and now he’s writing a blog? Wonderful, twisted, and brilliant. Horrifying. Great job.
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This is the most bizarre and gripping About I’ve ever read. EVER. I don’t know what to think. Or what to say. You’ve floored me.
But gripping.
I wish you luck.
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I’m too old and stuff and it’s only 4:40 AM and my coffee isn’t ready and I’m going to assign your blog as required reading for my 18-19-year-olds students writing about the grotesque in literature and ask them to figure it out.
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If you do actually follow through with that let me know what they say. A friend in South America once had his students translating my stuff to Spanish and I think they encountered a few words outside the lesson plan haha. Take care good dude.
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Reading your blog reminds me of when i watch a movie, i can completely adore a character and yet find the actor like most thespians appalling and pretentious.
i binge read your blog as I always do when I find one of worth. Obviously you are aware of your amazing abilities. They are often wasted on your horrible “provocative humor” Yes your anus and piss are so damn interesting you should mention them constantly, and you should most likely never breed.
You remind me of this book The last exit to Brooklyn. I hated every bit of it, but in the end I was impressed. I hate you as a person, but over all what can I do but enjoy this disgusting pile of shit.
I will most likely read everything you ever write.
I hate music festivals and the people that enjoy them, but why should you care? You are smarter, more interesting, and ten times more “profound” then I am. Most likely it’s all for show, but isn’t everything?
Anyway i despise you but your blogs addictive.
I am already getting the shakes, thinking about getting that bubbly orange drink to help me kick you.
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Wow. I’m not sure.
Do you need help?
Or will reading you help my writing?
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Love your writing style. It’s all so Hunter S. Thompson. It sucks you in.
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Many thanks madame 🙂 I hope you never get unstuck.
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You liking one of my post made me read yours. Your writing sucked me in your stories and if you did not have pictures I would I thought they were fiction. I am glad you experienced San Francisco in its finest and you recognized the beauty of the west coast 🙂
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I’m glad to hear you were drawn in. San Francisco is a great city and I will be back. I live in Portland now so get to experience that left coast beauty every day. Also, I enjoyed reading about the feline invasion of your bathroom. Best of luck when they take over the rest of your space ; )
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Haha, I am afraid those cute rodents already have. A boat is a small living space and their catnip mice are hidden all over the place (nothing better than hiding your fav mouse in a sink full of dirty dishes!). Never been to Portland, but Oregon is on my list of states to see 🙂
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You amaze me. I LOVE your writing. Thank you!
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No thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying it. Thanks for reading.
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Haha you are the epitome of a mentally contaminated Ressonance user who lost a portion of his consciousness while opening his mind’s gate under government surveillance. Haha dude, you could benefit from LOKBOLKS, a program that erases your mind of memories of connection to the Ressonance while closing your mind’s eye permanently. Unfortunately in 2102 I embodied the program into a six year old girl… In other words you’re screwed, read my book. It’s most certainly about the world your writing exists in.
Peace!
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…i love Raisin Brand
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While reading on your posts it kinda reminds me of American Pie but in real life…and me eating popcorn and slouching in our couch while my parents are snoring and it was past my bed time. (reminiscing my not so young ago life)
Wickedly awesome and unique ways to write ones’ misfits and life.
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Hi Nolan,
you have a way with words worthy of recognition. Go write a book and find a publisher. This is the only way to escape the YMCA admin and cruelty to pigs. Thanks for coming by my blog.
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I’ve followed your blog from my various incarnations. I find you completely unsettling. I mean that in a good way.
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Many thanks. And I’ve followed your adventures from comic pages to the screen 😉
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I just have to say how amazing your blog is. It’s inspirational and relatable in the most peculiar way.
You keep doing you, buddy.
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Thanks, dude. Perhaps one day I’ll put my talents to real use and start hosting inspirational business seminars at the Ramada Inn.
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I better receive a ridiculous invitation on construction paper and marker made by a third grader.
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I hope you are still doing well because “dead puppies aren’t much fun.” Sincerely – inturruptingcow
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Yours has always been my favorite blog, dude. There is nothing else like it on the Internet.
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Thanks so much, dude. I’ve lost track of how many people I’ve told about your site and adventures. It’s some of the best and most interesting writing I’ve ever come across. I hope to be reading you for years and years.
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dude your writing is literary crack. post more. i am itching.
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You must be schizophrenic or know schizophrenia pretty darn well to fake it like this! Im so confused!
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Btw, that picture is so gross!!!!!!!
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I think you might be my spirit animal. Which means the effigy of grey meat and tinsel I keep in the shed has some explaining to do.
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I must agree with others that I am bit confused and very disturbed, but you are brilliant!
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You liked me. I read you. I found within your words a wacky attraction, one of which that makes me wish I was a warlock, because to be a witch would be counter to what I am. Real or fake, your expression hold my attention. Nestled within your bosom of creation, I feel sane. The continuance of yourself is beneficial to yourself, obviously, but to all those who are similarly minded. The slant to which you require us to climb comes as a comfort. I’m inclined to follow acute angles that support instability.
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You are a hoot! Love your cracked-up writing style. And to think–if you hadn’t liked my story I’d never have known of your existence. Ah, karma…
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Why thank you, madame 🙂
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I’ll be back to read more. Nothing more entertaining than an insane person–and I mean that in a nice way. 😀
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Thanks for visiting my blog, now I have had the fortune to discover yours! You are spectacularly weird in the best sense. Your photo post about the cardboard signs was very touching, and reminded me of a friend who does punk rock shows under a bridge, for bridge people, and she also cooks them yummy food! 🙂
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Hard to believe you live in that kind of environment. People who is living this way cannot write posts like you do.
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I am a convert. Have you watched the movie “In the Realm of the Senses”? Thank me later.
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No but I’m going to check that shit out 🙂
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Completely insane and completely beautiful. You make my journey seem mundane in the extreme, and I am extemely envious of you for it. Keep spitting out whatever comes into that gorgeously wacked brain of yours. After reading two posts I had to stop by and thank you for taking time to scan through my woes of life, although again, they are much more boring than anything I’ve seen from you so far.
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Thank you for checking out my blog and for liking my ‘Birthday Post’. Much appreciated!
Also, I just have to say… I’ve been blown away by your incredible writing… billions upon billions of pages online, accessible to most denizens of this planet, and you have a singularly unique voice… one that reaches out and pulls people in to your world and keeps them coming back… AMAZING!
I’ll be back for more too…
Peace,
Dave
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Dude, this is the best writing I’ve read in a long time, since Celine and Buckowsky (why not!). At least, it matters! And to think this is just the BEGINNING of your trip. Make sure to pick me up if you see me drunk by the wayside. Bon voyage.
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I’ll keep an eye out for your drunk ass and will definitely pick ya up if you have Bukowski’s corpse in your pack.
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It’s so damn good I’ve run out of descriptors. I’m still waking up though, need a second cup. I think I’ve heard about you, the guy that lives under the bridge. Some people you know may have stared at my house. On the gangstalking issue; it’s much bigger the YMCA- though yes, I know their operations. If you ever want to chat black ops or just regular ops, email me at, no one else can email me here but you- so destroy this message after reading…. erikkahoon@gmail.com .
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Hey Nolan, thanks for liking my recent post and following me. Your blog and your tales are fascinating, compulsive, eye-opening, funny, poignant and bloody addictive! May you stay safe and well and continue to regale us with your adventures.
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Thanks for stopping by and liking my second most boring post. Your prescription teeth story has brought me to this page… yes I followed and now I know you’re completely insane “about” page is a ruse. Great writing style. I like it a bit. I’ll read more. Which is what I aspire to do with my writing. Kudos.
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I see you use mainly paper products on your head. May I suggest aluminum foil? It may cost more, but it blocks out a lot more things that tamper with your brain. Also, it doesn’t get soggy in the rain or in the shower. Sincerely, Bill.
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I have nominated you for a Liebster Award because I really like your blog and I do feel a connection between our ”worlds”. I simply adore the idea of your blog and I think it is downright outstanding. I love your imagination and following the adventures of Cluadia. Here is a link telling you how it is suppose to work but this is in no way obligatory of course and I will totally understand if you do not wanna doi this for wahtever reasons. It’s all good we totally understand. However I just wanted you to know I sincerly feel you deserve this award… Here is the link: http://tobedamit.com/2014/09/23/liebster-award-nomination/
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Brilliant! Keep them coming!
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Where are you bro?
Long time no see like they say in Belgium.
Getting medication ouzing out of your veins? Making money?
Wish I was there with you.
Take care and ride on.
Best.
Ellar
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Hey dude. I’m putting up a new piece soon though it’s not about the road. I haven’t resolved my medical issues yet so getting back to the road in a timely manner depends on how that goes. I appreciate the checkup and all the other nice comments you’ve left. I hope you can do some travel for the both of us until I’m well. When I get back out there I’ll write about all the new meds they’re injecting me with haha.
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Bro, nice to hear from you.
So you’re doing well enough and I’m happy about that.
A new piece, huh? I’ll read that.
Yeah I thought of you, driving for the two of us.
Here’s my latest travels https://ellarwise.wordpress.com/2014/12/08/adam-rides-north-reaches-the-last-frontier-chapter-lxxxiii/
As I wrote it, I was thinking of you, loaded with a bunch of needle, for science’ sake.
Acupuncture!
Nothing like a ride and a drink and whatever.
Take care
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Thanks for sharing that. I’m glad me and my needle holes were on the mind haha. That’s really cool. I will read it when I get done writing mine 🙂
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Alright man, when you want.
🙂
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Dude, I’m worried.
I can’t help it.
I know, if you’re not writing, maybe you’re picking beets.
Fuck Celine and fuck Buk.
A man got to work and earn his living.
Then again, maybe you’re kayaking in the plains.
And I wish I was there.
Take care.
And say hi to your sister.
I’ll meet with mine tomorrow.
Sisters are the best.
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You are fucking hilarious
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You are one strange dude.
And I kind of like it.
Thanks for reading and liking my very un-bizarre and not strange post.
Perhaps making new friends is freakishly weird?
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I was going to write something very similar to this message here. You have such a great, descriptive sense of writing. Riveting!
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I also can’t recall how I found you but I remember that comment. I’m glad it gave you some encouragement. You’re great. Keep up the good work 🙂
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Thanks for liking my post. It’s probably destiny, so I could read your unputdownable “about”.
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Your blog has a different approach. That shows creativity and imagination. 🙂
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Electronic isolation is a little-known form of millennial waterboarding. You’re a fucking lunatic. Lets make music.
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I am very perturbed.
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Thanks for the like. Your art work is totally demented Old Son. Reminds me of some early Frank Zappa sleeves.
I’ve heard about Portland. Are there other things there beside a ton of drugs and an excess of clubs?
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I heard Portland is getting a Burger King but no confirmation on that yet.
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there.s nothing else. it is what it is.
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Portland. I should also add a lot of neo-hippies. FYI. I have no connection with fast food whatsoever.
I’m the first son of King Tubby the late and beyond great dub master. Check out dads highly influential King Tubby meets Rockers Uptown, probably the most influential LP in the last 40 years. Dad also has a pretty good Wicki entry which I recommend.
I unfortunately abandoned Rastafarianism, blew all of dads considerable revenue streams and ended up marrying a cohort of Oriental slave girls. We now all live in straightened but honest circumstances out in the piney woods, and support ourselves by selling organic tofu and joss sticks at the local markets. If I could just wean them off Canto and K Pop which drives me to bloody distraction, life would be perfect. Unfortunately, they make me sleep by myself in the barn every time I turn down the volume
Yours in desperation
KT
i
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heh, literally I think you are me when I was -22 and 3/4. Too bad I’ll never see through the cigs, but then I never have, have I? Drinking is fine, just know like any inspired dance, they all collapse in a poof someday, im poooped now…brilliant meat here.
Tata
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Brilliant
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Thumbs up. Stay strange, stranger.
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Must be nice …. I have so much fucking paranoia in my life it’s ridiculous! Six people are watching me at all times … seriously, THIS WAS GREAT… ! really interesting … fun and … fuck! i bet you COULD rig up a microwave oven for listening. The device could be put in at the factory. Wull … i bet they’d be bored lot of the time … STILL !!
That was fun! Your family …. chuckle chuckle …. later … ks
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So I wake up this morning, feed the chickens and the dog, water the pots of flowers and the bed of potatoes etc. by the patio, and then, as I am recovering from a nasty virus, I set my phone alarm before going back to sleep and there is a PING to let me know you hit the Like button on my blog post. This doesn’t happen often so I wonder what brought you my way and I read your latest blog post. The title was an eye-catcher (I figured it for misogynist like “cum-catcher” from back in the redneck, construction culture of Southern Ohio “where the depression never left”). So I read your post (it was not misogynist, thank you) and I still don’t know why you would bother to read mine. (not begging for compliments here) You have sought out, or it has sought you out, some interesting material to work with. Others have done this (as others have mentioned above – I would add Steinbeck) and met with critical acclaim and maybe, in this generation, it’s your turn. Get out your chisel and carve away!
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Hey! I grew up in a rural area so am all too familiar with the sexism that’s rampant among some dudes. As for you, many nights I click around on WordPress looking for things to skim or read via tags. So many people are living fascinating lives or telling their truth. Pretty sure that’s how I found ya. Thanks for reading!
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Thanks for reading and the Like. When I got an email about it, your profile pic (rather than about me page pic) cracked me up, partially because BECAUSE, though I feared I was missing some innuendo, but I’d guess some of my enjoyment came from the fact that my dynamic trio dressed up in cardboard during college, and did other self expression and playing pretend. It took a while to realize you were in cigarette boxes specifically. I mentioned the whole thing to Trio Member number X, who said it was like you were expressing that you’d sold yourself to cigarettes, and I had the thought that I hadn’t thought concretely too much about you being expressing yourself, and so now I am here to ask- what are you expressing in said profile pic? Haha. Thanks again for the reading and the like!
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Haha it was just a Halloween costume constructed from a million empty cigarette cartons. I went as a door to door cigarette salesman. Here’s a more complete photo: https://imgur.com/aEG8kJx
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Wtf everything about this? The monotony of my corporate job was just relieved by a depraved post about baiting animal fuckers on Craigslist. This might have been the best thing I’ve read on WordPress. Thanks for making me feel horrible about laughing.
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Yo, glad to read you’re still kayaking. I always knew you were a poet. Take care my friend. Ellar
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Still kayaking and just finished a backpacking trip in the Oregon mountains! I hadn’t heard from you in so long I thought there was a good chance you’d passed on. Glad you’re still kicking. Now get back to writing.
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Yeah still kicking. And still kayaking my own river of shit. Sometimes there is a lively salmon, often dead catfish. Then again, aren’t we all alone ?
I was in the US a few month ago and singlehandedly brought O’Hare airport to a stop so, like a crying baby, I could get drunk with my friends there.
I’ll go back tell one day, if I don’t pass on. Tonight, boozing in Paris, next drink is for you.
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Cheers to that, sir. I’m in the mountains and will take a sip of wine tonight in your honor.
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just strained my pointy scrolling to get here but will do my best exploring you and in revenge will follow you to the edge
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I have only had wee peek, a little glimpse of the life you are living. I will follow you and come back to explore more later. Netflix and chill is getting repetitive and good books are hard to find. I look forward to getting lost in the life you have choosen and the life that has chosen you.
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I appreciate you taking the time to read my shit! I always recommend this piece as a good starting point: https://gabfrab.com/2017/03/26/jizz-coffin/
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